How to use patterns and thoughts to guess at triggers for emotions (Part one)
Note: You may want to download the Thoughts-Beliefs-Conditioning handout and print it out now. It is needed to follow along with this lesson.
Here are the steps to finding a pattern and an emotion conditioned to a specific trigger:
- Find a pattern
a. **Find thoughts **
- Find beliefs causing the pattern
- **Notice if any “conditioned” stimuli could contribute to the emotional parts of the pattern and note these [I tend to focus most on the three most common—rejection, judgment/criticism, not meeting other’s expectations]**
- Eliminate the beliefs
- Eliminate any conditioning you noted in step 2
You’ll notice that there are a couple of extra steps included here.
I added Step 1a because it makes it easier to see when to use the stimulus process and I suggest that you add this to what you already do after finding a pattern and before looking for beliefs.
Step 2 you already do—finding beliefs.
Step 3 is when you find out if you need to do the stimulus process. It’s when you come up with some ideas of situations that might stimulate any emotions that are involved.
Step 4 you already do—eliminating beliefs.
Step 5 you’ll use what you’ve learned and practiced so far to actually de-condition the stimuli for any emotions you’ve found earlier.
In many sessions you won't find a trigger that's been conditioned to produce an emotion but sometimes you will. So it's worth spending a small amount of time to look especially when there is a pattern involving fear or anger.
To make this more clear, here’s an exercise.
Pattern: Client avoids doing preparation for meetings or any events in which his work will be judged. He feels fear before avoiding the prep work. This client has never done The Lefkoe Method.
First I talk to the client and I get a pattern. In this example the client “Client avoids doing preparation for meetings or any events in which his work will be judged.”
I then get the client’s thoughts. I get them to imagine being in the situation and feeling some of the feelings. Then I ask, “What thoughts go through your mind as you imagine being in that situation?”
Next, I record each of these thoughts. By the way I also record the thoughts that the person gives me as we go through the process. Sometimes clients say some random things at the “wrong” times during the process. Sometimes this extra info helps us to find other beliefs. Record this info then bring the client back into the process.
After I record the thoughts I work with the client to find beliefs that cause each thought. Often I have to suggest the beliefs. So it’s good to have an idea of what they might be.
So what I'd like you to do is get the handout titled Thoughts, Beliefs and Conditioning and save it or print it out, if you haven't already, and fill it out with what you think the beliefs and conditionings might be.
Please look at that document and write or type answers to fit each of the empty boxes before clicking the link to go to the second part of this lesson. You will still learn even if your answers are different than mine. And don't think that your answers are wrong if they are different. This is, after all, a hypothetical client.